You never really know

Nobody really knows what is going on inside of your head. You never really know what’s going on in others heads. We have all inner battles, feelings to control and a soul to protect. There are so many people out there, we do not ask, we just assume that they are all ok. But a pretty face can hide so much pain, so much confusion and despair, so much that life itself tends to seem pointless. We should never take a persons worries easily. They can seem small to you, but for the person fighting it can be everything.
Daul Kim. South Korean model. Beautiful. Successful. Artistic. Smart. But somehow…. she found no happiness. She couldn’t get any rest. November 19th 2009. She hang herself in her Parisian flat. 20 years.
I found a poem in her blog. It kind of got stuck on my mind.

i danced all night
i sold my soul
killed everyone
i realized space
i abandoned love
i bought blood
i hid my tears



daulkim6 daul_4 Daul Kim[1]

When reality hits you

Will an offspring help me cope
with the knowledge of you being gone?
That’s what many people say
They keep on living thru their child
and the memory shall never die
Tears are burning in my eyes,
the knowledge of your mortality just sprung to my mind
It’s painful and it’s sad,
I will have to go on without your there
I know there’s still many years to come,
but the thought of it keeps coming up
I guess my own ageing is a reason
Me questioning my own way of life
I do believe you will still be around,
but not to hear your voice to calm me down,
makes me wanna scream out loud.